I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
