ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We're too hungover to prance.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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