Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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