Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
