as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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