and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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