wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
