why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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