FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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