i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
