Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
