I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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