He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
