you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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