Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
