You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
