She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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