We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
