didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We have started to decorate penises.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Couch. On fire.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
