Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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