better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
