I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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