Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize