i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
