The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
