What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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