So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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