Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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