she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
