we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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