Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Someone came in the potted fern
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize