I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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