walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
