i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
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