God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It was like getting head from an anaconda
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
