I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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