From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
