3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize