im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
