fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
