HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
