i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
