I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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