i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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