You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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