I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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