Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Boobs are out for the taking
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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