My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize