is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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