I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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