dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Randomize
