I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
