i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
