That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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