I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Randomize
