the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
