i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
