I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize