The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
