I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
