he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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