in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
