I hate your face
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
