Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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