I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
