Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
