She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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