im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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