So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
