he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
